Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
