i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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