I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i think i just lost a toe
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
