like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wear drunk well.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
