I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
