the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize