Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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