On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dear god my vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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