I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
