Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
