Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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