i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
