i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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