I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
