whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
