oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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