Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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