It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
