I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
