Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
