I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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