Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
