We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
