Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
