Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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