Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Found your dick twin last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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