Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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