but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
