i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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