Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize