In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
