i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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