Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
