My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
