I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
