he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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