They should really pass out barf bags in church
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
