I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
