im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
