I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
