Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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