So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
