So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
