im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
