I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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