I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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