she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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