We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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