About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
