he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
