guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
