no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize