I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
