Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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