hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize