Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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