Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
