Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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