chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
