glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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