I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
