Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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