Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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