You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
