**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
