I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
