he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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