How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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