oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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