'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
