My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
