I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
