your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
