Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
