i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
