You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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