he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
