The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
