I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
