you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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