You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
