Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
